On ... I mean, why not.

Top 5 Car Names That Drive Me Fucking Insane With Rage

1.  Armada (Nissan)

 (n) a fleet of warships; Spanish or Portuguese

The operative word here is FLEET. FLEET. FLEET. FUCKING PLURAL. I'm even willing ignore the fact that calling a car a warship is the douchiest thing since douche came to douchetown, but whatever, bro! Fine. You want to call your stupid SUV, your by-definition-LAND-VEHICLE, a "warship", you know what, you go right ahead and do that. But it is not, and by the very laws of physics, will never be multiple warships. Calling your car an ARMADA should have, at the moment you wrote that shit down, made your fucking head explode.

2. Enclave (Buick)

(n) a portion of territory within or surrounded by a larger territory whose inhabitants are culturally or ethnically distinct.

...the fuck does that even mean? If you bash your face into a desk for 20 minutes, you think maybe they were going for a sort of "we are surrounded by tons of other cars and we are different" vibe, but like? I dunno, man. That's a stretch. And even if my bloodied nose and concussive head managed to come up with a valid guess, "different" - when I last checked - does not mean "better." Serial killers are different. Vegemite is different. In addition, no matter how you stretch your suspension of disbelief, a single car is not a territory. It's not even close.

3. Citation (Chevy)

(n) 1. A quotation from or reference to a book, paper, or author, esp. in a scholarly work

- there were dozens of citations from the works of Byron

- recognition through citation is one of the principal rewards in science

2. A mention of a praiseworthy act or achievement in an official report, esp. that of a member of the armed forces in wartime

3. A note accompanying an award, describing the reasons for it

- the Nobel citation noted that his discovery would be useful for energy conversion technology

4. A reference to a former tried case, used as guidance in the trying of comparable cases or in support of an argument

5. A summons

- a traffic citation

Out of five possible definitions, this essentially boils down to your car being a piece of paper. A blurb, at best, and at worst, a piece of paper used to summon you to court for driving your Citation on the sidewalk and mowing down 4 children and a fruit stand. Granted, it's been years since I've actually seen a Citation on the street, but the original bafflement remains.

4. Equus (Hyundai)

It's ... a horse. It's Latin for "horse." And in the age of 330 HP, maybe you'd want to sell your car as something more equipped than just the one.

Equus is also a play (which at one time starred naked Harry Potter [the link is PG]) about a dude who is sexually/religiously infatuated with horses. Sooo? I mean, what are we saying here? Have we all seen that "My Strange Addition" episode? About the dude? Fucking the tailpipe? Is this what we're promoting, Hyundai?

5. The entire Scion brand. Everything they do. Everything they think. Every pretentious, hideous, obnoxious idea they unleash upon the planet. The fucking b-boy hamsters. Oh god.