There are two things you shouldn't do when you have TMD (temporomandibular joint disorder, if you were very curious). Actually there are probably loads more than two, but these are the top two, I think.
1. Participate in a tractor pull using your teeth
2. Eat salt water taffy
Guess which asshole has two thumbs, TMD, and just casually decided to indulge in the the most chewy, sickeningly sweet confection that the Jersey shore has to offer?
Yes. This girl right here.
So now the left side my face sort of feels like I decided - just for kicks - to drag it thirty feet across a brick wall. While Alexander Povetkin punches me in the ear. Repeatedly. With a bottle of vodka. Because he's Russian.
God, and it wasn't even worth it. It was like, lime flavor. Why does that even exist? Why was I so drawn to that sea foam green log of shit in wax paper? WHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY.
I'm just going to cry into this horse.
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