What didn’t bother me before but has started to ferociously in the past month:
When you say something like “X tastes like Y” in which Y would be something CLEARLY you have never actually consumed (pee, dirt, bleach, embalming fluid, etc) and the AMAZINGLY CLEVER person in the room responds with “A-her, you’ve eaten Y?”
OMFG SHUT UP. What are you, 9? Obviously you must know that, biologically, taste and smell and intricately fucking entwined, OK? So when I say “Hey, this tea tastes like ammonia” well SURELY I have not consumed fucking ammonia because I would be DEAD. I thought we were both intelligent enough people that a statement like that would be interpreted to mean “Hey, this tea tastes like the smell of ammonia”. Evidently, I was wrong and you are a fucking idiot.
And everyone does it! Without fail! Like we haven’t all been privy to this same exact scenario no fewer than like a billion times since kindergarten! Kill yourself!
Right, this is a stupid thing to get angry about, but I feel like I shouldn’t HAVE to get angry about something as ridiculous as this.
And for the record, if I know you and love you, all past occurrences of the offense are forgiven, because Duh, I Love You. But if you do it again, I am totally going to sneer at you and probably sigh heavily!
This is interesting. Conversely, I sneer at most who make the "It tastes like (place non-widely consumed object here)" comments. I think it stems from non-smokers who always have to pipe in with the, "Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray" which my response is inevitably, "And how many ashtrays have we licked?"
ReplyDeleteThat and the fact that I've tasted an odd number of things not usually consumed. A rose does not taste as good as it smells...and gnats are minty!
Love ya.