It's "Come On Eileen," Richard.

RE: getting this box to Canada

Sometime today can you show me the special things I need to do to ship this package?

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Alright.

First thing is you’re going to have to shake the box thrice, while humming either the penultimate hit of 80’s pop act Dexy’s Midnight Runners OR the theme song to A-Team television series. Your choice will affect the outcome. There is no way of predicting how.

Then you’re going to need to make a balloon animal. Elephant preferred.

After you suspend the balloon animal from the ceiling tile located in the spot that is 45 degrees acute to the prime meridian, take the box and go outside. Turn left. Walk 147 paces.

There’s going to be a guy named Steve. He’ll be wearing an orange poncho. Tell him “the sun also rises,” and then wink.

He will reply “the toaster is a freedom fighter.”

Affix the label to the box. If it turns blue, it is safe to ship.

If it turns yellow, run.

Or, whatever. Yes. Tell me when you have 10 minutes.