On yes, what the fuck, Japan

I had to Google kawaii because I had no fucking idea. I use tumblr, so you can imagine it comes up a lot. I had some vague idea that it was somehow related to weird Japanese cartoons, or something,  but wasn't really grasping it as, like, an adjective. That's so kawaii. What does that mean, internet?


So the internet told me.

Really, the only appropriate response to kawaii is ... like, of course this is a thing. Thanks, teenagers. Thanks, neckbeards. I like to think I'm pretty open-minded, but I will never, ever, ever understand America's obsession with Japan's weird & creepy infantilization of fucking everything. 

These are actual "mascots" for actual police departments in Japan. POLICE DEPARTMENTS. THE KIND THAT ARE FULL OF POLICE, WITH GUNS, AND STICKS, AND MURDEROUS INTENT.

But fine. It's all fine. Japan, I can't stop you from being Japan. You do you, OK?

Everyone else who is not Japan? Cut the shit. You cannot hang.

I was about to click off and consider the situation resolved in my brain, but I saw this fucking wikihow on How To Be Kawaii, like this is a scene I guess now, or something (that's another thing, "Scene",  capital S, like "Scene hair" and "Scene Queen," which is, I think related to emo? oh my god, when did I become Jon Snow), and it was basically instant rage. So much gnashing of teeth. This is probably the most offensive bullshit you will read all day, maybe even all week.

15

Don't swear. Most people will agree that using swear words casually exhibits an inconsistent state of character. You will be much more impressive and impacting toward others when you use curse words less often, or remove them from your vocabulary entirely.

UGH EAT A FUCKING BAG OF DICKS, HOW BOUT THAT. FEELING IMPACTED? I SURE AS FUCK HOPE SO.